wolfdens bar and grill part six

Now if you are wondering what has happened so far then you have come to the wrong place, ok only kidding. The story so far ummm well someones been shot, pregnant women clutching bellies nurses and doctors everywhere all situated in a bar, riveting reading, will the babies be delivered in the bar, will willow tree survive will the hamburger be tested for any communicable diseases, will anyone tell us please what is going on for those who need an update please refer to Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4 & Episode 5

* Happy Australia day for all our Aussie mates *



As the burger fell silently to the floor, it connected with a hidden button in the floor, within microseconds, the whole bar started to spin, slowly at first gaining speed. By the time everyone realised, they were spinning out of control. Bodies were being slammed against the bar, Beth sliding across the bar just in time for the first drink to fall into her mouth as she cruised along she managed to get a cocktail in herself.

Moments later the spinning stopped although for poor Beth it continued for several minutes, finally raising herself from the bar she slurred “what happened?” everyone slowly got on their feet with JIP opening the door of the bar and upon being hit with extreme temperatures looked in shock as she saw a half naked Santa with a bag that didn’t look as full as it should in the ocean in front of them. JIP shouted, “by crikey mates we are home” and then chucked a cold one out to Santa and invited him up to the bar for a drink or ten.

Fallen Angels stood stunned and amazed as a koala and kangaroo came sauntering through the bar. She said in her American drawl (or was that dribble) “sooo the stories are true!, they really do wander the streets.

Suddenly from behind the bar a tall figure arose with an evil grin she cried out in a strange accent “ha ha my evil plan worked, all that sperm in the computers and now you are all here with me and you will be mine. Mysti, Pamela, Karmyn and jungle tart all squealed in surprise and hugged their pregnant stomachs while JIP stood up and ditching her fake American accent said “G’day mates, Australia is under populated right now, we are in the throes of being extinct, secretly we have been cloning and you are all now pregnant with twins. “Where the bloody hell are ya? You’re in Australia. Now you can put up with the price of our dollar for a change. But don’t despair our health system rocks.

JIP turned to face the group huddled under a table consisting of Dr Rob, Dr A, Patient Anonymous, Difficult patient, qualicum RN and her conjoined twin Smalltown RN, Hey You lot shut up and pay attention, we are in charge now, Willowtree standing up miraculously revived from being shot said JIP and I are members of the elite taskforce called conception Australia. You are now under our control. Our boss Sunnie Dee behind the bar is the New Zealand counterpart, your children will no longer speak your language (if you can call it that) but will instead learn and speak in Aussie and New Zealand English only. They will eat marmite and vegemite, they will wear thongs on their feet, they will eat baked beans and learn to fart correctly (yes that’s right we have Kevin bloody Wilson on our side) they will be shown how to drink from a tinnie and enter in belching competitions. They will now be part of the civilized world.

Willow tree turned to face Wolfie, You can continue to run your bar however you must remember that you are under our control too. Beth and fallen angels will be your bouncers. FA grins and says I think I am going to like this land. Beth just yells great free grog and grabs a bottle of that great outstanding Aussie wine Passion pop. JIP turns to her and says My rules, no body touches the bloody passion pop. JIP starts to stalk towards her with Beth suddenly changing her mind about the drinks and started running towards the door. Knocking over Cathy and moof who were quietly watching the drama so that they could tell everyone what the latest gossip was.

Meanwhile Dr A, Dr Rob, Patient Anonymous, Difficult patient, qualicum RN and her conjoined twin Smalltown RN were huddled in a corner discussing the prospect of living in Australia, Dr deb was commenting that indeed it would be an interesting place to be from a psychological standpoint, well that was until she realised that australia didnt have a problem the rest of the world did. Wouldn’t New Zealand be better they wondered? At least they say Law properly. Suddenly Pamela, Karmyn and jungle tart noticed their pregnant bellies had doubled in size, Sunnie dee, JIP and willow tree cackled Oh we forgot to tell you, the transfer to another country means your twins are due in exactly one month. Flea covered her mouth and said no, it is too soon.

Laundress at this point awoke from her amnesiac state not realizing what had been happening. She picked up the hamburger, with screams of no from around the bar she took a bite. The room starts to spin again……