To Rising Rainbow.
When survivors have known the extremes of evil. They need to experience the depth of unconditional love. To know there are those who will accept them as they are, and to believe in them to become the person they really want to become. To give them the chance they never had when they were a child. To stand up and defend them, when there was no one to do that for them, when their rights as a human being were being ripped from them. To speak up when many in the past silently stood by and did nothing. To have tenacity and determination to not give up on them. To have honesty and openness so trust is built. To walk humbly as they teach you their world. My life has been enriched by their trust and friendship. I am no longer ignorant to the depths of human depravity when controlled by evil.. But I have discovered the meaning of these words. LOVE NEVER FAILS. Thank you for your comments. Mon
To Mysti.
Thank you for your comments my above response to Rising Rainbow perhaps speaks abit more to what makes me tick! Mon
To Kathless.
Its not that therapists do not care for those that they help. But many get concerned when it comes down to the commitment and the time that is required to work with S.R.A. As one of my colleagues stated. "It is a call within a call." Many are called to help those who get damaged by life's journey. But few are prepared to walk the walk with survivors. Sometimes that is the fear of the unknown. Until you have walked the walk with a survivor, it is very much going on a very big learning curve. How could anyone in their greatest imagination understand the kind of journey that is going to be? But if they have the compassion and the courage to start the journey, they will discover not only the knowledge of the darkness, but the power of God and His love for the survivor, and even for the therapist as they allow Him to direct them in what to do. My faith has grown enormously as I have seen how He directs me and the answers to prayer, that are often instantly apparent. Thanks for your comment. Mon
To Laurie
You are one very special person in that you have had a heart to help others.
Every therapist I know became a therapist, because in dealing with their own painful experiences in life, it gives them understanding and love and compassion for others.
I pray you may discover the qualities you tried to give others in what you desire now you are also on your personal journey of healing. Blessings Mon
To Keepers
Your encouragement and support has been awesome! You are one special friend of JIP and myself. Thank you, thank you, for networking prayer support for us in a time of need. May you know many blessings for what you give to others, because you are a real blessing to us. Mon
To Cheesemeister
Thank you for your thoughts and support we need all the friends we can get to support us in this , as it is not something that we can do alone. Every encouraging word is like honey! thank you. Mon
Saturday, January 05, 2008
So why, why is this so important?
*ive answered to all your responses on triggering and changes in the few blogs below, we only have so much time on the libraries computer so we can only do as much as we can so we are sorry we cant get to your blogs either, as soon as we get home we will *
Wow i almost didnt want to write anything after seeing mons blog below, mons enriched our life is many deep ways also. After we locked sam up we chose to continue with mon as our Therapist a price that has been high for us. Some of our friends disappearing from our life with disgust that we should choose to stay with who they perceived as unhealthy in our life. But perhaps a blog like mon wrote below tells us in our heart we made the right decision and losing people who arent happy with your choices are perhaps not a help but a hindrance in your life anyway. Still it was tough decision to make, some of our friends calling for us to make a choice them or mon bizarre but true. its something we havent talked about much because of the pain it brings but as we slowly try to get into this new year we know mon is the right therapist for us, and those who dont agree i guess will have to stay disagreeing, stupid isnt it the cost of getting healed and helped is still high even when you are walking in the right direction. If anyone wants to know how we made the right choice you only have to know our previous therapist again an expert in DID (supposedly anyway) left us in hospital because she was busy for the weekend and we were a bother to her and how inconvenient we should be suicidal on a weekend she had plans. She left our GP caring for us and not once contacted us when we saw her days later she was annoyed we werent more together and how dare we fall apart. We never contacted this Therapist out of hours ever and this was the first time and it wasnt even by us. Now on comparison mon walking and talking a suicidal im standing at the beach alter whose going to drown herself on new years day home to safety and checking in an hour later even though it was the small hours of the morning. We know we have the right Therapist and even though we questioned that when she was in England we have the answers now, whether we keep friends or not because of it.
yesterday we were at the beach once again its a boiling hot day, we noticed a car on the small hill it arrived shortly after we did and stayed there for hours. Leaving late in the afternoon we glanced at the person sitting in the car and within came a deep blood searing deathly wail/scream. My blood froze littles ran literally ran when only before had i managed to get them to sit in the waves and squeal to their hearts content. The reason for this terror, someone who had been part of our life when we were growing up was back in our life. This was not a safe happy nice gentle person, she is someone who holds copious amounts of terror to those inside. The last time we saw her was at our mums funeral 4 years ago, she was the reason our sister needed some serious calming down after she spoke to our sis D freaked out mostly for the rest of the day. To see her here at our holiday spot means only one thing trouble big fat scary shit trouble, whetehr she tries anything or not the triggering is enough to cause the trouble. Why shes here one can only guess but we know its got to do something to do with us flying to see our birth parents and a warning we would never get there.
The thing is why, why is this so damn important that its brought in someone like her back into our life, what is up where we are going that for some reason has brought terror for them. We have met B & K before this isnt he first visit, we have seen them numerous times and they have been to the state we live in, what is so important about this time, so important that this is all happening. Why the hell is this time so different, what we do know is there is a secret that we dont know that lies in another state with two people or maybe more who can shed the light, that its so important that we are not meant to go find it. So what do we do give in and say ok no we wont do this? No we wont, we have a true firm belief that god wants us to have this information and somehow its going to change our life now and in the future and enable a healing to take place in ways we never knew could be. Instead we leave a paper trail we ask for prayers and we stay in contact with mon who is aware of the situation, we seek support from the remaining friends we have and we keep trying to be courageous. But no matter the reason why she is here or they continue to harass us we are going to see our birth parents because we are now too curious not to LOL.
the links
Wow i almost didnt want to write anything after seeing mons blog below, mons enriched our life is many deep ways also. After we locked sam up we chose to continue with mon as our Therapist a price that has been high for us. Some of our friends disappearing from our life with disgust that we should choose to stay with who they perceived as unhealthy in our life. But perhaps a blog like mon wrote below tells us in our heart we made the right decision and losing people who arent happy with your choices are perhaps not a help but a hindrance in your life anyway. Still it was tough decision to make, some of our friends calling for us to make a choice them or mon bizarre but true. its something we havent talked about much because of the pain it brings but as we slowly try to get into this new year we know mon is the right therapist for us, and those who dont agree i guess will have to stay disagreeing, stupid isnt it the cost of getting healed and helped is still high even when you are walking in the right direction. If anyone wants to know how we made the right choice you only have to know our previous therapist again an expert in DID (supposedly anyway) left us in hospital because she was busy for the weekend and we were a bother to her and how inconvenient we should be suicidal on a weekend she had plans. She left our GP caring for us and not once contacted us when we saw her days later she was annoyed we werent more together and how dare we fall apart. We never contacted this Therapist out of hours ever and this was the first time and it wasnt even by us. Now on comparison mon walking and talking a suicidal im standing at the beach alter whose going to drown herself on new years day home to safety and checking in an hour later even though it was the small hours of the morning. We know we have the right Therapist and even though we questioned that when she was in England we have the answers now, whether we keep friends or not because of it.
yesterday we were at the beach once again its a boiling hot day, we noticed a car on the small hill it arrived shortly after we did and stayed there for hours. Leaving late in the afternoon we glanced at the person sitting in the car and within came a deep blood searing deathly wail/scream. My blood froze littles ran literally ran when only before had i managed to get them to sit in the waves and squeal to their hearts content. The reason for this terror, someone who had been part of our life when we were growing up was back in our life. This was not a safe happy nice gentle person, she is someone who holds copious amounts of terror to those inside. The last time we saw her was at our mums funeral 4 years ago, she was the reason our sister needed some serious calming down after she spoke to our sis D freaked out mostly for the rest of the day. To see her here at our holiday spot means only one thing trouble big fat scary shit trouble, whetehr she tries anything or not the triggering is enough to cause the trouble. Why shes here one can only guess but we know its got to do something to do with us flying to see our birth parents and a warning we would never get there.
The thing is why, why is this so damn important that its brought in someone like her back into our life, what is up where we are going that for some reason has brought terror for them. We have met B & K before this isnt he first visit, we have seen them numerous times and they have been to the state we live in, what is so important about this time, so important that this is all happening. Why the hell is this time so different, what we do know is there is a secret that we dont know that lies in another state with two people or maybe more who can shed the light, that its so important that we are not meant to go find it. So what do we do give in and say ok no we wont do this? No we wont, we have a true firm belief that god wants us to have this information and somehow its going to change our life now and in the future and enable a healing to take place in ways we never knew could be. Instead we leave a paper trail we ask for prayers and we stay in contact with mon who is aware of the situation, we seek support from the remaining friends we have and we keep trying to be courageous. But no matter the reason why she is here or they continue to harass us we are going to see our birth parents because we are now too curious not to LOL.
the links
Thursday, January 03, 2008
The Strength Of Love & Friendship
The more I work with survivors, the more I realise that to love them unconditionally and to be a friend is one of the most powerful healing experiences that I can offer. When I think of this last year and what it brought, not only has JIP grown but so have I as a therapist and as a human being. My whole world has changed! When I watched carols by candlelight, and saw families with their children cuddling into them as they wanted to share the wonder of Christmas. My heart was with survivors all over the world who were going to do it tough that night. Many who have never known the love and safety that those children were experiencing. My world now observes dates that had no meaning for me a little while ago, now I know has significance for those I help. Once I could look at a full moon and enjoy its glow, now I think of what will happen for some in the darkness of the night. So many things have changed my world can never be the same again. But I have seen the love of a little that knows I am a safe person and feel their need to be loved. To put my arms around them and feel their fear slip away, is a good feeling. To laugh with my friend as she shares some of the extremely humorous things that go on in the life of a multiple, is wonderful. I can laugh from deep within and still be chuckling as I think of what she said later that day. To encourage them to believe in themselves and to not let go of their dreams, is such a life giving thing to impart. To stand with them when they are fighting to survive is a privilege. They are sooooo courageous. To see their faith grow and to see the Lord answer their prayers is fantastic. To learn about myself as I walk with them, is such a humbling and maturing experience. They rewards for this journey are amazing, I get to see God do things the average Christian will not get to see. I get to see the rawness of human courage in the midst of adversity. I experience sheer joy in their achievements. And delight in their discoveries of life.
To all therapists reading this, be encouraged to not be afraid to step on to this path with the survivors. If you do you will experience a life of adventure and love. Love Mon
To all therapists reading this, be encouraged to not be afraid to step on to this path with the survivors. If you do you will experience a life of adventure and love. Love Mon
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Still in Touch and a added note from JIP
Thank you for all those who prayed for JIP, she had a rough night, but I was in contact with her during the night and the next day. She will in due course thank you herself for your loyal support. But a really big thanks from me to those who responded to my blog. It was sooo appreciated and the fact I was in touch with them meant a lot. But we really knew that prayer was working for us. Discouragement is something that the dark side really play on, so please continue to keep us in your prayers.
We are experiencing very high temperatures so a lot of the time, she is on the beach letting the children cool off in the water. But she really needs to get a rest while there. It is fantastic for me to know that there is support from all sides of the globe. For truly this fight is experienced by many on every continent. To every survivor I salute your courage, that you tell others what has been done, makes it hard for society to say it cannot be true. I was reading a text book from a leading American therapist and he stated that society do not accept that more than ten children in a million get to be sexually abused by a parent in America. The figures being a lot higher than that, how much more do we have to work to convince society about those who are Satanically abused? That is why I have the highest regard for JIP and the courage she displays, I know first hand what it costs her. I believe in her to make a difference, and to obtain freedom in her life. So as I also try and enjoy the most of my holiday fishing and relaxing. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. You are some of the most wonderful people I could ever wish to meet. Thank you. Mon
We are ok maybe a little more down than before but we are ok. We will write more extensively on saturday and Mon and us are in better contact as we face the next hard hurdle of a flight in 14 days and a new chapter in our life by meeting with our birth family again. We will write more of that when we write on Saturday but at the moment we are probably better than we were yesterday and much better than the day before. We thankyou all for your support and to our wonderful amazing incredible most fantastic Therapist who helped a little home on new years day in teh early hours and stopped her from walking into the ocean to "wash away the bad and get washed out to sea". It is to mons credit we are here right now. We are booked in on saturday on this computer and will answer all your amazing responses and will write a more cohesive blog then. Also we still have comment moderation on adn when we cant get in mon is publishing to comments for various personal reasons i have decided that will stay on until at least the end of January.
many many thanks and hugs
JIP etal
We are experiencing very high temperatures so a lot of the time, she is on the beach letting the children cool off in the water. But she really needs to get a rest while there. It is fantastic for me to know that there is support from all sides of the globe. For truly this fight is experienced by many on every continent. To every survivor I salute your courage, that you tell others what has been done, makes it hard for society to say it cannot be true. I was reading a text book from a leading American therapist and he stated that society do not accept that more than ten children in a million get to be sexually abused by a parent in America. The figures being a lot higher than that, how much more do we have to work to convince society about those who are Satanically abused? That is why I have the highest regard for JIP and the courage she displays, I know first hand what it costs her. I believe in her to make a difference, and to obtain freedom in her life. So as I also try and enjoy the most of my holiday fishing and relaxing. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. You are some of the most wonderful people I could ever wish to meet. Thank you. Mon
We are ok maybe a little more down than before but we are ok. We will write more extensively on saturday and Mon and us are in better contact as we face the next hard hurdle of a flight in 14 days and a new chapter in our life by meeting with our birth family again. We will write more of that when we write on Saturday but at the moment we are probably better than we were yesterday and much better than the day before. We thankyou all for your support and to our wonderful amazing incredible most fantastic Therapist who helped a little home on new years day in teh early hours and stopped her from walking into the ocean to "wash away the bad and get washed out to sea". It is to mons credit we are here right now. We are booked in on saturday on this computer and will answer all your amazing responses and will write a more cohesive blog then. Also we still have comment moderation on adn when we cant get in mon is publishing to comments for various personal reasons i have decided that will stay on until at least the end of January.
many many thanks and hugs
JIP etal
Monday, December 31, 2007
Worst Night of Both Years
After being off line since saturday, I was able to connect with JIP this morning. Even though they are at the holiday home. The people that they do not want to see, have turned up over the past few days. Seen walking past their house or turning up on the beach today while the children played in the sea. Making casual comments of how hot it was, while at the same time trying to intimidate those who recognise them.
Also unknown to me they have programed my voice with some in the system. So when they heard my voice they were triggered big time and they think it is England going to happen all over again. Please pray against this programing which has been put in place since September.
Also there will be certain ones that they will try to access tonight to jeopardise the whole system. Please get the prayer warriors praying against their strategies. They have worked so hard and fought so hard to gain their freedom. Many of you have followed their struggle over several years. If you believe in the power of prayer then please pray for their protec tion and safety tonight which is going to be one of the worst nights of this year and the begining of the next year. I am able to connect to them if they have signal, they need to know they have our support. I have prayer warriors in this country praying. Thank you to all who care. Mon
Her Therapist.
Also unknown to me they have programed my voice with some in the system. So when they heard my voice they were triggered big time and they think it is England going to happen all over again. Please pray against this programing which has been put in place since September.
Also there will be certain ones that they will try to access tonight to jeopardise the whole system. Please get the prayer warriors praying against their strategies. They have worked so hard and fought so hard to gain their freedom. Many of you have followed their struggle over several years. If you believe in the power of prayer then please pray for their protec tion and safety tonight which is going to be one of the worst nights of this year and the begining of the next year. I am able to connect to them if they have signal, they need to know they have our support. I have prayer warriors in this country praying. Thank you to all who care. Mon
Her Therapist.
Triggering and changes
Well its new years eve here and we have been having some serious swimming and beach time as its so hot for those who want to check today will be over 42 degrees, ill let you calculate what that is where you come from lets just say its freaking hot. But we also have had reflection time now thats a good and a bad thing, good because we need to have it because its bringing things that we have been pushing aside for months to the surface and making it hurt as one little put it so aptly in here hurt ouch like bees stinging.
In the last few weeks we have had to decide to say good bye to some not so healthy people in our life, this includes two good friends and a sister. The pain from that is enormous two of those people we trusted with a depth we rarely show and we see now how foolish that makes us, rising up various other issues of trust has been painful. Our tendency to isolate ourselves is easier than dealing with the pain and sorrow of saying goodbye. These people will never know as we will never tell them we simply quietly without fuss walk away. One day maybe they look around and notice we arent there but by that stage we have gone far away to really matter. This is hard but harder is keeping unhealthy relationships and crying painful tears trying to maintain them every time something goes wrong or we get hurt. Our sister we have spoken to but reality is our lives are parallelled with such dysfunction it was never going to work does that mean we dont love no it doesn't does that mean we are cold and callous perhaps but not in a way people have recently been heard talking about us, we have a heart and its because w do that we struggle every day with decision.
Being down here is also raising huge amounts of pain from what sam got up to, we are struggling to be in contact with our T due to no signal and this is raising the age old problem of feeling its all happening all over again. We are fighting with an alter who sam used to be out and control and when she is out she wont talk on the phone or even turn it on and we fight with her constantly to try and get out then we get out and theres no signal so our daily check in to our T simply isnt happening and this is frustrating our system and making them feel that sams reign is going o start all over again. The truth is it cant but the signs are there even here where we are that safety isnt as good as it once was. Our T unfortunately seems to be having an equally hard time at getting us and for us it feels so much like M has gone overseas all over again. Unhealed wounds as gaping open and i guess thats simply because we havent had a chance to get the littles properly healed before xmas loomed and M was again away. This is not her or our fault its programs being triggered and littles freaking, so as much as we have plenty of a chance to get them to be out on the beach they think if they are then they will be snatched because M has gone again and that is what they did the last time this is painful for us being on holidays and seeing this but we cannot seem to be able to help them this time and that is unusual.
On top of this we are trying to make some decisions in our life that are going to benefit all we associate with, one of them being a pact made with our neighbour that we will both be on huge diets this year, needing to lose nearly 50 kilos and seeing ourselves before we had kids is depressing. We thought if we got fat then no one would touch us because ugly isnt a good thing where we came from but alas it has made no difference. No one seems to notice our weight except the people who make comments to hurt us. But he truth is we look at ourselves now and see what we have become and we hate it but it was done for sheer ugliness nothing else. We tried being a size 6 and still we werent left alone and now we try being a size 24 and still we arent left alone so now we have to try and believe we can be the size we want. maybe hat will help with our floundering confidence. this is only one of numerous decisions that have been looming for six months and now we have stopped are also rising themselves with us.
Today is New years ave we dont know what new year will bring but we can only hope the new year is better than last year because doing that again would pretty much be he end of us.
The links
In the last few weeks we have had to decide to say good bye to some not so healthy people in our life, this includes two good friends and a sister. The pain from that is enormous two of those people we trusted with a depth we rarely show and we see now how foolish that makes us, rising up various other issues of trust has been painful. Our tendency to isolate ourselves is easier than dealing with the pain and sorrow of saying goodbye. These people will never know as we will never tell them we simply quietly without fuss walk away. One day maybe they look around and notice we arent there but by that stage we have gone far away to really matter. This is hard but harder is keeping unhealthy relationships and crying painful tears trying to maintain them every time something goes wrong or we get hurt. Our sister we have spoken to but reality is our lives are parallelled with such dysfunction it was never going to work does that mean we dont love no it doesn't does that mean we are cold and callous perhaps but not in a way people have recently been heard talking about us, we have a heart and its because w do that we struggle every day with decision.
Being down here is also raising huge amounts of pain from what sam got up to, we are struggling to be in contact with our T due to no signal and this is raising the age old problem of feeling its all happening all over again. We are fighting with an alter who sam used to be out and control and when she is out she wont talk on the phone or even turn it on and we fight with her constantly to try and get out then we get out and theres no signal so our daily check in to our T simply isnt happening and this is frustrating our system and making them feel that sams reign is going o start all over again. The truth is it cant but the signs are there even here where we are that safety isnt as good as it once was. Our T unfortunately seems to be having an equally hard time at getting us and for us it feels so much like M has gone overseas all over again. Unhealed wounds as gaping open and i guess thats simply because we havent had a chance to get the littles properly healed before xmas loomed and M was again away. This is not her or our fault its programs being triggered and littles freaking, so as much as we have plenty of a chance to get them to be out on the beach they think if they are then they will be snatched because M has gone again and that is what they did the last time this is painful for us being on holidays and seeing this but we cannot seem to be able to help them this time and that is unusual.
On top of this we are trying to make some decisions in our life that are going to benefit all we associate with, one of them being a pact made with our neighbour that we will both be on huge diets this year, needing to lose nearly 50 kilos and seeing ourselves before we had kids is depressing. We thought if we got fat then no one would touch us because ugly isnt a good thing where we came from but alas it has made no difference. No one seems to notice our weight except the people who make comments to hurt us. But he truth is we look at ourselves now and see what we have become and we hate it but it was done for sheer ugliness nothing else. We tried being a size 6 and still we werent left alone and now we try being a size 24 and still we arent left alone so now we have to try and believe we can be the size we want. maybe hat will help with our floundering confidence. this is only one of numerous decisions that have been looming for six months and now we have stopped are also rising themselves with us.
Today is New years ave we dont know what new year will bring but we can only hope the new year is better than last year because doing that again would pretty much be he end of us.
The links
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