6 secrets we normally wouldnt share out loud ... and back to therapy

We went to therapy today the first time in six weeks it was good to sit and let off steam and all the stress that we have been under. One of the things we needed to do was let Amelia out but all she did was cry mon managed to hug her but she said very little but cry its so sad to see her struggling like this, another issue is Deshanti, everytime shes out shes violently ill, she is the only alter whose like this so it isnt a body thing but a her thing. She tries to get out but gets so ill and cant stay out for long.

Today we were able to assertain that she had been left somewhere dehydrated and was having body memories, this was also a time when due to he extremeties she split. Today we met the part that split from her but this one is so disconnected from the world we think it will be a long time before she is able to be talked to, we arent sure if until she is Deshanti will get any better but we really need her right now. We can only continue with mon and through prayer get help for her as whats she is going through she is trying to sort out because she is hurting also and struggling becasue she cant be an on ground part of the links.

We have many reservations about moving, but we have so much support also. We have a wonderful person/people where we are going who are looking for a house for us and supporting us. They know a bit of our background and why we are leaving and they are seeing the houses we cant, we feel so reliant upon them and worry we are a burden to them, evne though we are being assured we arent but at the same time we couldnt be doing it without their support, when we move we will find a way to thank them for being so amazing to us. We have support in our therapist who is seeing the cost of us leaving but knows the cost of staying, we have support from all our blogging friends and 3d ones also. But we are also being reminded that there are other parties watching what we are doing parties who dont want us to move and who could make it hard for us to do so. We have with some good sugestions from people who have moved for safety have started to put in place things in case we go missing. This has been a recent threat and for now we take it as such and continue with our moves to move, we know we have no choice.

There are of course otehr things to go through our husband is staying here causing some problems for us as far as why hes staying and what we know but for now we cant deal with his choices but deal with our own and we know we are making choices that are good for us and obediant to god, the rest will have to sort itself out once we have moved.




We have been tagged by rising rainbows http://mycloudsandmystorms.blogspot.com/, this is one of three memes we have bene tagged for one being the one we were meant to do a month ago below and anotehr we need to get to. But this is a secret meme the idea is to tell six things about ourselves we normally wouldnt share out loud.



1. We have special teddys that sit on our bed, they are ones given to us by people we trust and love, if they dont sit on the bed we cant go to sleep at night. In our mind these stuffies and dolls keep the bed safe in the day so we can get in at night.



2. We sleep half in bed and half out. We draw a line of a sheet and doonah down one half of our body and sleep half in and half out.



3. We sleep with an eye mask on at night, we dont like moonlight or the breaking daylight as our eyes often get sore with sunlight and other light so we sleep with night mask on.



4. We dont go anywhere without our pet rock and pet turtle and a toy car all given by close friends and our comfort when we have nothing else.



5. we dislike recieving flowers of any sort except white lillies. We find flowers annoying and a waste of money we would much rather a piece of kitchenalia than a bunch of flowers.



6. We cant leave the house without all beds made, for us a bed made means the day starts and you unmake it to get in it. We feel dirty and uncomfortable with a unmade bed even seeing one in another persons house we have been known to sneak in and make it, because otherwise we cant settle and feel jittery and uncomfortable.



we tag



patches at http://patchworkgems.blogspot.com/



lyn at http://www.spillinginkinpublic.blogspot.com/



april at http://thriverstoolbox.blogspot.com/



marja at http://survivorscanthrive.blogspot.com/



Julies at http://www.multiplereflections.org/journal/